Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Help! We've Fallen [into a Rut] And We Can't Get Up

Remember when I blogged about how The Princess didn't wan't to go to school? Well, for the entire month of April, I had her home with me because she complained about it so much. Like I said, why spend $600 a month if she hates it.

Well, I found another preschool that I REALLY loved. The teachers were nice, she actually was learning something (unlike the other school), her clothes come back clean, each piece of artwork she brings home is labeled with a description(from The Princess) of what The Princess drew/made... you get the picture, I love it. I love it so much, I wish I was a kid again and that I could go there. Well, she loved it the first three times she went there. This morning she woke up..."I don't wanna go to school" even though she doesn't have school today. WTF?? It was a great transition, the kids were really sweet (even the boys), she took to her Australian teacher a lot. I just don't get it. And of course, the kicker was that she says this the day after I paid for her registration for the fall. Yeah. Thanks Princess.

Plus, I think we're spoiling her. This morning she asked The Breadwinner if he was going to work and of course he said yes. So she says:

"Oh yeah. Daddy goes to work so he can pay lots of bills and buy me lots of presents."

She's also been telling us that we're not nice when we don't buy her things. Also, the bribes and threats (aka rewards and punishment) aren't working. Does anyone have advice for me? Is there another way to parent other than offering bribes and threats? We have lots and lots of trouble with sleep (and yes, we do have a routine), sharing toys (this makes play group at my house very trying and now that her her brother wants to play-- she's constantly taking away toys from him), school, getting her out the door, basically-- you name it, The Princess has problems with with it.

So it's official, I'm throwing it out there...please advise me...before all my hair turns gray.


In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

What about a chart for her? So she can see her "chores"--ie, pick out clothes, sharing, going to school, etc. and get a sticker/star when she completes the task.
Good luck!

Shauna said...

Nicholas does this too - he always wants more more more. But, we put a moratorium on toys between Christmas and his birthday and he's good about that. We told him he can make a list of the things he wants for his birthday and we'll choose from the list. So now, we go into the toy store so he can work on his list. Has worked so far. But I'm afraid that no matter how much we talk to him about it, he still thinks he's getting EVERYTHING on his list.

As for the sharing of toys... Nicholas is territorial about his toys. When we know we're having other children over, we tell him to picj 5 toys that he doesn't want to share and we put them in his room - everything else is fairgame and must be shared. It gives him a little control over the situation. And hell, it's not like adults share their toys. I don't like it when Gavin uses my laptop so why should Nicholas be forced to share all his toys?

Worker Mommy said...

Hi Cherann - I've seen your comments many a time on Butrfly and Brillig's blog and I just had to pop over.

I do like the chart idea. An alternative to the sticker or star is giving her a quarter or dime each time she completes her "chores". That way she can save for a little trinket she might want and simultaneously start to learn about saving money (although that may be a bit much for this age)
By the way, sharing is the hardest lesson ever. My two shared my uterus for 8 months and have continually been called upon to share you'd think they would have it down pat. Uhh, no. Not even close.

Butrfly4404 said...

hahaha..shared your uterus...hahaha

I agree with Shauna about giving them control. I've always let Sunshine do *certain* things, like, I always let her pick out her own clothes. Knowing that they can make choices on some things, but then have to listen for other things seems to help.

And being consistant is really important. I know when we follow through on punishments, they are so much more effective than when we 'forget' about grouding them just so they can go outside or whatever.

That's all I have. Last time I had a problem I couldn't solve with the kids, I googled it. :) It did help a little.

Anonymous said...

Don't give up. Be consistent.
She needs to know how important school is. Even if it's just pre-school...She will always consider it 'whatever' if you let her stay home all the time...My mother used to keep me home whenever I didn't feel like going. It turned out to be very bad for me...I became a teacher. And HATE when kids are out a lot.

Goldy said...

I am not a mom... in fact I am not a dad yet... but I have lots of nieces and nephews.

Every kid is different but I really believe consistency and tough love are important. Not wanting to go to school is acceptable... thinking its really an option is not.

Of course what the hell do I know. I am 32 years old and still think I am entitled to everything.

Jackie said...

I've always given my daughter lots of positive reinforcement for good behavior. ie: "what a great sister to share so nicely with your brother!" And downplay the bad beahvior; let her know it's unacceptable but don't give her lots of extra attention for bad behavior. It seems to work great for her (though I know all kids are not the same.)

Good Luck!