Lame, Lame, Lame

I'm not an extremely religious person (at least these days) but I certainly would like to baptize my son. I was raised in a catholic family and I want to baptize my son in a catholic church--is that too much to ask? Apparently it is.
We've moved since my daughter was baptized and I wanted to baptize him in a parish nearby my new house. I spoke with some woman that says that at least one of the godparents has to be confirmed Catholics. These days, that's difficult to find. My hubby's got two friends that he wants as my son's godparents--neither is confirmed. To resolve this conflict, I asked my sister if she would be willing to be a stand in for this qualification (third god parent) and she has agreed. Then-- this lady told me that if the confirmed person is married (my sister has been married for several years), the person has to have been married in a catholic church. Ohmifuckinggosh! Now, I know that the catholic church doesn't recognize marriages outside of a catholic church-- but to make it a qualification for being a sponsor in a baptism? Puhleeeze. Last time I checked, attendance at catholic churches has been down ever since the all those molestation scandals made headlines. You'd think that they'd be a little bit more lax. And if the catholic church recognizes ALL Christian baptisms then why do they even make these qualifications? LAME, LAME, LAME! I wonder if episcopalian churches make it just as difficult....