My Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons Why My Toddler Drives Me Nuts

10. She has no concept of time. We are always either really early or really late. The only concept that she gets in relation to time is the fact that when it's dark-- she has to go to bed. I can't even tell her to hurry up because it then gets into a big "discussion" of why we must hurry up.

me: Come on baby. We gotta go. If we're late, we won't make it to ballet in time and it'll be over.

her:But the sun's out.

me:It doesn't matter if the sun's out. Ballet is only for an hour and then everyone goes bye bye.

her:Why does everyone go bye bye if it's not dark?

me:Because ballet is only for an HOUR, now hurry up so we can go see your cousin there.

her:Why?

me:Why what? Why is ballet only an hour or why do we have to hurry up or why should we go see your cousin?

her:Why?

And people wonder why I don't show up to things anymore. Every time I tote these kids off somewhere, it's an event.

9. Oh god, the WHINING!!!!

8. Of course whining goes hand in hand with the constant questioning:

• "Why?"
• "Wwwwhhhhhy? "(the whining question)
• "What's baby brother saying?" She asks me this a lot these days. I always start out telling her what I think he may be trying to be say. So I tell her "he's saying he's hungry" or "he's saying he loves you". But then she keeps asking me what he's saying so I get frustrated and just tell her that he's talking baby talk and her guess is as good as mine.
• "What did you say? I can't hear you." I know she can hear me but she just likes to say this. It drives me nuts. Which leads me to...

7. She'll ignore me! She usually does this when it's time to leave a friend's house or when she doesn't want to do something. At least when she says she can't hear me, she acknowledges my presence but ignoring me truly drives me insane.

6. She is sooo girlie that she has to change her outfit at least 3 times a day. This makes laundry chores a pain for me!

5. She can't figure out when she's tired. She'll be rubbing her eyes and yawning but she still fights me when I try to put her to bed.

4. She is not interested in anything unless her baby brother is playing with it. Including Daddy.

3. She has no inner monologue...

me:Baby, can you hug your Aunt S good bye?

her (loudly):I don't like her.

When my hubby took her to school the other day (she was super cranky that morning), she told her daddy in front of one of the other teachers the following:"I don't want to go to school. I want to go to the other school. I don't like my teacher." Of course later on when I asked her why she didn't like her teacher she told me that she liked her teacher and that her teacher was her favorite in the whole wide world. I don't get it. I think she's just a home body. BTW, when she said the other school, she meant the schools that we previewed because I'm looking for a school that is closer to my home.

2. She's germ infested. She gets sick at least once a month and gives it to her brother (he's only 8 months old and he's been perpetually sick since he was 2 months old) who in turn gives it to me. Of course, I don't always get it because my immune system is decent but still. Taking care of sick babies really blows.

1. She's a mini me. Isn't it ironic that I drove my mother crazy when I was a child and now here I am and my daughter is doing the same thing to me? Pay back truly is a bitch.