Aggravated

When I was about 12 years old, I had a best friend that I would alternate sleep overs with. I always loved staying at her house best because I thought she had the perfect family. Her family was what I would call the "perfect white family". Growing up Filipino American, I often was embarrassed of my roots and tried to embrace as much of the White American culture as possible. I loved my friend's family because they would take me out to eat and play board games together. I can't remember what her father did but I know her mother was a teacher and they embodied those families that you would see on TV like Keatons in Family Ties.

As a college student, I admired my dorm floor friend (and later roomie) and her family. Her family had this huge pantry stocked with every college student's favorite foods. We spent the night at her house and her mom made this huge breakfast that we didn't eat because we didn't wake up in time. Her mom THREW IT ALL AWAY! I LOVED the ability to throw all that food away without even considering the waste (I was always told to not leave the table until I ate all my food). Her family home also had a beautiful pool that I would only see in homes featured in magazines. Her parents were hilarious, crass and easy to talk to. I also loved how close knit the family was.

Well, years later, I spoke to my friend that I used to have sleepovers with via email. Her perfect family sadly became a divorced family with other quirks and neuroticism. The family that I admired as a college student actually became my family when I married into it (I married my dorm floor friend's brother) and the same things that I used to find enduring about them are now the very things that irritate me.

I have come to realize that even though I often was not enthused about my family, I still love them the best. I like that I can yell at and complain about them without having repercussions. On the other hand, I've come to resent the over bearing, passive aggressive, hypocritical, self serving, and favoritism tendencies of my husband's family. I also realized that the perfect-ness of his family was just a facade. A lot of things got swept under the rug and they are every bit as neurotic (if not more) than the rest of us.

So, to make a long story short. I am annoyed and aggravated. I wished I lived closer to my family. At least my mother actually helps me out and treats her kids/grand kids with some semblance of equality.

Sooo Many Things to Be Paranoid About

Why is it so hard to raise kids today? Hmmmm. It could be the many gazillion things that we have to watch out for. Why can't companies just make things that are healthy and safe for us? Why is it so hard to be the kind of company that is socially responsible? Why do they put these things in? Below are some of the things I've been worrying about.

• Lead in toys
• Lead in balsamic and red wine vinegar
• BPA being leeched into our food and drink through unsafe plastics, tin cans, soda cans, baby bottles
• Hormones in milk causing early puberty
• Household-phthalate-exposure causing my son to possibly be feminized
• Nitrates in our meat
• Toys that cause children to go into coma after swallowing them
• Teflon poisoning my food
• Parabens in our sunblock

With all these things to worry about, it's no wonder I'm getting all these gray hairs!

Few and Far Between

I've been tired and lazy about posting on my blog. Sorry. There's a little something called life that sometimes gets in the way of blog writing. The entire time I've been gone, I would think of something to blog about and then I would just be too tired to actually blog about it.

Everyone has always told me that going from 0 children to 1 child is the hardest. Then 1 to 2 children is hard and then from 2 children to 3 children is a piece of cake. I really would disagree. Increasing your brood by one is hard each time. I'm not quite sure how Brillig does it with 4 young ones and STILL has time to blog.

Little Sissy was born on July 24th at 4:34am. She weighed 6 lbs, 3oz and was 20 inches long. It was an easy labor. I only had one half push and she was out (I guess the birth canal gets more slippery with each successive birth). The Princess and JR. peanut both love her very much. They are constantly wanting to touch, hug, and kiss her.

Thanks everyone for inquiring about me.

So Blessed

This year, my family and I participated in the March of Dimes' charity event, "Walk For Babies". It was an event that I feel very strongly about as do many of my family members and the women of my mom's group. Most of us have experienced or at least know someone that has experienced miscarriages (including stillborn), premature babies or birth defects (my nephew died from a genetic blood disorder called Thalassemia). If you don't, well, by reading this blog-- you now do.

I currently have two beautiful and healthy children with another baby on the way, but it wasn't always that way. I also never understood the plight that women felt when they miscarried or lost an infant that didn't live for very long. I didn't think that they spent enough time with the child to grow emotionally attached to him or her. Boy, was I ever wrong.

I am not one of those women that get pregnant just by "thinking about sex". It always took a while for me to get pregnant. Between the births of my daughter and my son, I think I had about 3 or 4 miscarriages. The first was the hardest though and it occurred at 12 weeks-- so by then I had seen the heart beat. It was also hard because I let it pass naturally (as opposed to a D & C) and it's kind of a creepy thing (I won't go into detail).

After that, I think I kind of lived in a daze and didn't really enjoy my time with the Princess. We kept on trying to get pregnant for a year and failed miserably. I thought that was it-- I was only 30 and couldn't have another baby. To help get myself out of the wallows of self pity, I began to look for a job. Soon after I was given a job offer, I learned that I was pregnant. I accepted the job because I wasn't sure I would be able to carry the baby to term and I really wanted to go back to work.

Well, Jr. Peanut was born the next year and I feel like he was what really saved me. I finally enjoy being at home with my kids (even though it's sometimes a little isolating). I have a lot of mommy guilt (a whole other post on that)about what my going to work did to the Princess after being at home with her for more than a year, but over all, I feel blessed. I am thankful that my friends and family helped me raise money to go toward the health of future babies so that others don't have to experience the tragedy and heartbreak that my family did.

Enjoy your life my readers and be grateful for all that you have. Also, if you're trying to have a first OR second baby, know that there ARE happy endings--it may take a while and there may be some disappointments along the way.

My Niece, The Queen Bee

We were over at my brother-in-law's house the other day, when I discovered that my niece(his daughter) is a Queen Bee (QB). There were two incidents that occurred in which she excluded either my other niece (R) or my daughter, the Princess and made them cry.

I don't know the full story about what happened to R so I'll just tell you what QB did to the Princess:

The girls were playing with a toy of QB's brothers when QB decided to bring out a game to play. She brought the game to R and the Princess and asked, "Who wants to play this game with me?"

Quickly, the Princess responded, "I'll play it with you QB."

QB ignored the Princess and kept asking who wanted to play the game with her until R said that she would. Once R said that she would, QB promptly said that the Princess couldn't play because that would be too many people.

The Princess walked over to me and started crying (HARD) and said "QB won't let me play that game." I heard and saw the entire thing, so I knew what happened. It took a Grammie intervention to get QB to let the Princess play the game. QB had LIED. The game allowed for FOUR players-- so there would have been enough pieces to go around.

QB is only 5 and I thought that that's a pretty young age to being doing the whole "exclusivity girl thing". I don't think I started doing that until I was 9. But I think QB has been doing it since preschool. I vaguely remember her mom telling me that QB did it with a play house at her preschool.

Do you see the makings of a future bully?

Top 10 Reasons Why Stay At Home Moms Might Think Their Toddler Son May Be Gay

10. He comes walking into the room wearing his sister's princess shoes.

9. He loves carrying a purse.

8. He gets excited everytime he sees a picture of a Disney Princess.

7. He prances around on his tippy toes.

6. He sees his mommy putting on nail polish and insists that you put it on him too.

5. He loves carrying multiple purses.

4. He's just to sweet too be straight.

3. He's such a snazzy dancer.

2. He gets into your make up drawer and you catch him putting on make up.

1. Your son comes to you begging to put on his sister's Barbie Princess Dress.

Now, not all these things have been going on with my son, but I will have to admit that most have them have. Not that there is anything wrong with him being gay . . . but I find that a lot of moms think their sons are gay for the same reasons listed above. It kind of cracks me up. I'm pretty sure my son is just mimicking the two people he's around the most.

I was also going to put up a picture of my son in a princess dress, but the Breadwinner thought that would be a little too much. Sorry folks.

Politics as Unusual

I don't generally talk about politics on my blog but with all the hulabaloo going on with the Democratic primaries, it's hard for me not to think about politics.

I've always been a bleeding heart liberal. Any red blooded Republican would despise my views on welfare and immigration (after all, I wouldn't be here if my parents had never immigrated from the Philippines). Since the start of my voting career, I've always voted for the Democrat Candidate. Things may change though.

I can't quite pinpoint the reason why, but as of late--I really don't like Hillary. I was a big Bill Clinton fan, but I just can't get excited about Hillary. I think the main reason why I don't like her, is because I don't like how she runs her campaign. Yes, sure I feel sorry for her sometimes because it is difficult running for a president as a woman, but she isn't the kind of woman that I ever expected would be the first female president.

I think that I've always envisioned the first female president being more like Oprah. A woman that is powerful and influential in a much different way. A woman that gives to good causes both anonymously and publicly. A self made, strong woman. I may get in trouble for this-- but Hillary doesn't really come off as feminine to me.

I don't know. I don't think she'd win the election either. I think she would cause a lot of people to go out there and vote for McCain. Including myself.

I also really like Obama and I want him to win. He carries himself with such poise and he has the ability to inspire. I remember seeing on TV a panel of Americans being asked to site an accomplishment of Obama's and no one could except one African American woman said that he's the first African American that has gotten this close to the Presidency. Now, granted, I don't think that Americans in general could site the accomplishments of most politicians, let alone point to where Belize is on the map. Only two came to my mind-- truth be told:

-I believe he was the first African American to be the president of the Harvard Law Review.

-He ran and won a seat in the US Senate.

At any rate, I hope that the remaining Democratic Primaries give Obama the remaining delegates he needs to clinch the Democratic Candidacy. If he does, it would make me feel like I can truly say to my children that they could one day become President. When I said that to my husband, he said of course they could be president, even if Obama didn't win. I said-- yes, technically they could, but would Americans actually elect an Asian American into the White House? We don't know that-- yet.

Children's Shows

The other day, I happened to actually be sitting with the Princess watching Oswald on Noggin (a Nickolodeon Channel for preschoolers). I never really realized how latently sexual it is. The show was about how Oswald found this "Big Yellow Banana" and how he was sharing it with everyone. Then I started looking at the characters:

• Weenie the hot dog dog.
• Oswald the blue Octopus that looks like a "blue ball"
• Daisy, the Flower (do I need to tell you want a flower represents?)

It was kind of disturbing. I don't let her watch Oswald anymore. What were these people thinking when they came up with this show? Or more to the point, what the heck were they smoking?

I have actually found some new shows that I really like having the Princess watch though. Shows that have encouraged her to realize that putting letters together can make words. Shows like:

• Super Why (PBS)- A show that teaches kids that they can change fairy tale stories by changing the words in sentences.



• Word World (PBS)



• Leap Frog Videos - These aren't actual shows but they are awesome DVDs. They've taught the Princess all about the letters and the sounds they make.

Does anyone have any other ideas on educational shows that encourages reading? It seems like there just aren't enough.

Which reminds me. I hosted a book club meeting at my house and one of the ladies mentioned that when she wakes up in the middle of the night for her baby's feeding, she watches The Cosby Show. Then she brought up the question . . . are there any shows on these days that emulate a good wholesome family like The Cosby Show? We also had Family Ties and Growing Pains. I've been trying to come up with a good show like those that's on today during prime time and I couldn't think of a single one. I don't even think shows like Hannah Montana are up to par. It's kind of sad that our kids only have shows that feature skanky women like Paris Hilton or the High School kids from the O.C. (I know this is off the air now) to watch. It's all so risque. It's no wonder that all these young girls are so scandalous.

Random Things

• I was wondering when the hair swirl in the back of Jr. Peanut's hair would go away so I asked by hubby. Apparently it doesn't go away and my husband still has his (or what's left of it.)
• Do you think the Princess will resent the fact that I still don't know what to do with her curly hair?
• I quit my "job" as newsletter editor for my mom's group after an argument with another mom about conficting events. March is my last newsletter.
• I haven't had time to read very much. So I am officially a FORMER bookworm. I'm probably now more of a TIVO couch potato and former blogger. :-(
• I've always wondered why they made "no iron" clothing for men but not for women (conspiracy! They're trying to MAKE us iron). I watched Oprah the other day and Brooks Brothers makes a no-iron fitted button down shirt. AWESOME! I'm buying it. . . but where would I wear it? On the way to pick up the Princess from pre-school?
• Of the 12 male American Idol finalists, I'd have to say that Luke Menard is the hottest. He could definitely pass for Orlando Bloom.

Life After Pregnancy

After I had my children, not only did I gain my precious babies, but I also gained about 15 extra pounds and some hefty stretch marks. My stretch marks weren't so bad after the Princess but they were HORRIBLE after Jr. Peanut (my stretch marks had stretch marks). It was really quite depressing. I cried about it (it was probably a little post partum too).

Everyone I spoke to-- all my mommy friends seemed to not be affected by stretch marks. Not my sisters in law, not my brother in law's wife, not a single person in my mom's group. How could this possibly be? Every book I read said that 50% of mothers get stretch marks and I'm the only one that I know that has them. A true bummer. Even all the celebrities look pretty good like Brooke Burke, Julia Roberts, Kate Hudson and even Britney Spears!

Then I saw this over the holidays and it made feel much better:

Can you believe that that's Cindy Crawford in the top right picture that I circled? Yes, the beautiful, former super model. I'm glad there's some kind of reality out in celebrity land. Hope this makes all the other moms that have stretch marks just as proud!

P.S. Thanks everyone for the congratulations! I'm pretty excited and scared about #3. My husband and I maintain that the third child always rocks! (I'm #3 of 3 kids and he's #3 of 4 kids)

No, I'm Not Dead (Although Some Days I Feel Like I Am)

Well, it's been almost a month and a half since I've posted. It's also been about a month and a half since I found out that I am pregnant with munchkin #3. Yes, I've been vegging out, vomiting, taking naps, suffering from the stomach flu, suffering from a bad cold and continuously vomiting. It's been a rough pregnancy so far but I see a light at the end of the tunnel because the nausea isn't as bad as it was during the month of December.

So, forgive me if I happen to purge the 1000+ posts in my google reader, I just don't have the energy and ability to sit and read over a thousand posts (without having to vomit or at least gag). My apologies to everyone.

I know what everyone is thinking. If she doesn't have the energy to read posts, how is she going to have the energy to take care of 3 kids? I've kind of been a bit worried about that too but I guess you just make it work. Just like who really ever has the money to take care of kids? No one-- we just make it work.

I've got a few posts in my back pocket, so you may be hearing from me soon. Hugs and kisses to everyone!