Googlers Crack Me Up

All of a sudden, I've had a whole slew of new search terms appear on my keyword analysis from StatCounter. Some of them are kind of interesting...and it begs the question that I'm actually scared to know the answer of...Did they find what they were looking for???

NOTE: I typed in some of their locations so you'd know where some of these people are coming from. You can click on the image to make it bigger (I know it's hard to read the way it is.

I Used to be a Germ Phobe

I'll admit it. I was. Most of my Germ Phobias had to do with public restrooms:

• I would unravel a little bit of the toilet paper and throw it away (in case the person before had touched it) then I'd unravel the toilet paper that I would use.
• I never actually sat on the toilet to pee. I squatted.
• If I had to sit (for obvious number two reasons) I would put soap and water on a paper towel and wipe the entire toilet seat. Then I'd take a dry paper towel and wipe it dry. Next, I'd put not one, but two toilet seat covers.
• I never used my hand to flush the toilet
• I would meticulously wash my hands afterward. But before I washed my hands, I would crank out the paper towel (so I wouldn't have to touch it after I washed my hands).
• Using the paper towel that I used to dry my hands, I'd open the door (so I wouldn't have to touch the filthy door handle).

Some non-restroom germ phobe stuff I did included:

• At restaurants, I would wipe my silverware down with a napkin.
• I constantly carried a hand sanitizer with me and used it like a maniac.
• I never opened doors with my whole hand or I used a paper towel to open it.
• I NEVER drank water from the water cooler at work (this actually reduced the number of times that I got sick during the year). It's disgusting. People are always filling their water bottles and there was constantly lipstick on the spout.
• I never ate anything that dropped onto the table. Let alone the floor.

Well...now I have kids and all that went out the window. I call them my germ magnets. And man oh man, are they disgusting. If I was still that germ phobe, and I saw what my kids get into, I'd be horrified!

• My kids pick up crumbs off the floor of my car (that looks like it's a week old) and eat it (I know, why aren't I shop vac-ing my car).
• My son plays and drinks poop infested water.
• The Princess actually touches the toilet seat when she pees (aaahhh!) and she touches everything.
• The kids eat everything that falls on the floor or table.
• They suck on the wash cloth after I've used it to wash them (Yuck! It's touched their bottoms!).
• They touch everything and constantly have their hands in their mouths.
• I'll catch the Princess itching her butt (inside her panties).

So now, I'm like a germ-phobe's worst nightmare. Kids are gross. If you don't have kids...beware if you're a germ phobe!!

Tagged Again!

I got tagged by Jackie to do a Goal meme.

These are the rules:

1) In a new blog post, list and write about the top 5 to 10 goals that you gotta get so that you can truly say you have achieved your wildest dreams in life. These have to be your best, most exclusive, and over-the-top goals that you can pick off your goals list. (I know I’ve previously said Do Not Share Your Goals, but we’re making an exception!)

2) In the introduction of your post, explain what you’re doing with the Gotta’ Get Goals project and “put a link and/or a trackback to this post”, for the purpose of giving them the full rules and for me to compile the master list of all participants that I’ll link to in a future post.

3) As with Simply Success Secrets, don’t forget to put a link or trackback to the blogger who tagged you for Gotta’ Get Goals in order to let your readers follow the conversation around.

4) Sharing your Gotta’ Get Goals with your own audience, will also share them with the blogger who tagged you and the bloggers you tagged, as well as their whole audience!

5) There is no limit to how many bloggers you are allowed to “tag”, so go crazy. It will help their exposure as well as your own when they tag back to your Gotta Get Goals post. That’s how meme’s work.

6) Sit back and enjoy the show. As Aaron would say, “watch the gotta get goals and the crossover audiences start rolling in!”

I'm not following all the rules, but I'm doing the essential part of the meme. Here are my goals:

1. I want to be the kind of mom that my kids feel they can tell anything to. I never got that as a kid and I didn't really need it but I think with so many bad influences these days, I think my kids will definitely need it. I'm also trying to be more accepting of less traditional types of intelligences (i.e. the arts, social). It's really difficult for me because I'm Asian. Asians are all about Math and Science.

2. I want to work my way back to my pre-pregnancy weight too (Jackie had this goal too).

3. I'd like to go back and get my MBA and/OR get back to working again. (I miss my mad money).

4. I'd like to make more "really good" friendships as opposed to those more acquaintance type friendships.

5. I want to stop putting my foot in my mouth. I always say the wrong thing especially in social situations. Most of the time I don't really mean to sometimes, I just can't think of anything good to say.

So there you have it. Those are my goals. If you'd like to be tagged by it, leave me a comment stating that you want to. and I'll add you to the post. Enjoy!

Sorry!

I know I've been MIA lately. Thanks also, to those of you that have wondered where I am. I've been busy lately. For some reason, I all of a sudden have A LOT of things to do. I promise, I'll write soon and that I'll read all of your blogs. I'm busy doing that newsletterI mentioned earlier this month. JackieThanks for tagging me, it will be the first thing I write...maybe my goal will be to blog?!?! HA ha ha. I guess that wouldn't fulfill my wildest dreams...or would it??

Super Silly Search Sunday 6/17/2007

I know I've taken an extended break from Super Silly Search Sunday, but I just didn't like the search results I was getting. Plus, lets just face it. I've grown lazy. Fat and lazy I might add. I'm weaning JR. Peanut but still eating the same amount...so I've gained some extra poundage. I may have to join Weight Watchers or what I really need to do is find some self control when it comes to the richer foods in life something.

I don't think I mentioned this, but I found out that some of my ball sack searches came from Belgium. Perhaps there is some crazy ball sack stretching tendencies going on over there. Why would you want to stretch them? That's what I want to know.

At any rate, I guess I should tell you what I searched for this Sunday....drum roll here

My Armpit Hair Smells Good

There were only 230,000 search results. One of them was one woman's quest to become "one of those hairless freaks that you see on the MTV". In her June 2nd post, she describes how she tried to wax her armpit hairs off. Painful huh? (I occassionally pluck my own armpit hairs because they grow back so quickly when I shave them-- I got used to the pain).

Another search result was some guy's epiphany about the difference between men's and women's deodorant after using his wife's Degree deodorant. I always thought degree was actually a unisex deodorant. At least, when it first came out, it was. The writer didn't like the smell of it (I don't either) and he decided that women's deodorant doesn't take into account armpit hair. I wonder if that really is true.

Some other noteworthy sites:

• gurl.com asks people to vote on armpit hair...do they dig it or diss it? The fact that 87 people actually dug it baffles me. But then again, maybe I've just been brainwashed by society.
• I also found this marijuana site that explains how to avoid getting tested positive for marijuana in your hair. He talks about how he buys an extension kit that uses real hair and then he glues it to his armpit for drug testing purposes. Geez. The lengths that people will go to right?
• Here's a picture of Tyra Bank's armpit. I don't really see anything except skin irritation.
• Here's a picture of Julia Roberts'armpit hair...I can't figure out if this is for real or doctored.

Well folks, that's it. A lot of the results that came up were teens/pre-teens asking about armpit hair and what to do about it. I barely remember being that clueless. I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore. I certainly don't miss the awkwardness and the huge zits that I got on my nose (right before picture day right?). However, I do miss being twenty something.

By the way, did I ever mention that the Princess gets a kick out of smelling our (The Breadwinner's and my) "stinky armpits". She always asks if she could smell them...then she giggles hysterically.

Nothing Ever Tasted So Good...

This evening, The Breadwinner came home while I was feeding my kids grilled cheese sandwiches a gourmet meal that included all four food groups (bread, cheese, chicken, and Munchos Chips--potatoes are vegetables, duh!). So, I sat down, with a glass of wine in front of my computer and proceeded to read my daily blog feeds.

When my kids were done, I took them out of their seats and they were off. A few minutes later, while I was reading about Butrfly's run in with the law and drinking my wine (instead of hearing WHINE for a change), I heard the Princess grunting while she was sqeezing out little turds into the toilet. I thought nothing of it until...

I heard splashing.

I ran to the bathroom and found Jr. Peanut playing with the toilet water while The Princess was hiding by the sink.

To my horror, I noticed that The Princess had failed to flush her poop away. Jr. Peanut was sucking on the toilet paper he found in the toilet water and splashing away.

I mean really...what kind of princess forgets to flush the toilet? I guess an almost four year old one does. And where the heck was the Breadwinner?

I suppose I can legitimately get googled for baby eats poop or to be more precise, "baby drinks poop water".

He seems OK but I may need to call the pediatrician tomorrow--just in case.

Just Call Me Horrible Mom

So, today was the Princess' last day of school. I knew it was the last day and I knew there was going to be an ice cream social. Knowing that it was going to be the last day of school, I wanted to stop by Target and buy her teachers a thank you present.

Of course, going to Target made us a little late...and what I didn't know, was that each preschool class was going to sing a special song for everyone. When we got there, The Princess' class was getting ready to sing their song. We were late! I didn't bring my Camera. All the Daddy's were there and I neglected to tell the Breadwinner (I thought it was going to be an ordinary day). So, no daddy for the Princess. It was the one morning that I didn't have time to comb her hair...so she sang with nappy curly hair (everyone else had their hair in braids and wore pretty clothes).

To think...if I had taken a little bit longer, she wouldn't have been able to perform. Thank God for letting me get there just in time. How was I supposed to know??? I read the newsletter...but it didn't say anything specific. So yeah, call me a horrible mom that doesn't have her act together.

School's Almost Over :-(

I am so sad. The Princess' last day of school is tomorrow. Even though I wrote this post about her not wanting to go back, she wound up loving her preschool. She quickly made some friendships and has actually started begging to go there every day. I am so happy I took her out of that "Hell Hole" preschool that she hated. I can't wait to send her back in the fall.

She will be starting summer camp next week...at a different preschool. So we'll see how that goes. It's kind of like the Hell Hole school in that it has extended care hours. Which makes a difference because friendships are often forged between the all day every day kids and not the half day, two days a week kids. So, it's a different experience. I'll let you know if she adapts well.

Now, my next decision to make is whether or not I'll hold her back (the Princess has a fall birthday and our school district has a December cut-off). Granted, she has another year until she turns five, but I'm already thinking about it. I'm inclined to hold her back. I've spoken to several teachers and they say that you don't notice a difference in Kindergarten and first grade, but once second grade comes around, you notice a maturity difference. It has nothing to do with academics-- but the social aspects of school

If your preschool aged child has a fall birthday, what are you going to do?

Oh, and it's official, I'm soliciting travel tips for families based on In The Trenches' suggestion from my last post. I'm going to put it in my mom's newsletter. I found these tips from Parent Hacks, for keeping kids entertained at an airport during delays or layovers. Any other tips?

A Request From My Bloggy Friends

Hi again my bloggy friends. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but I have taken on a board position and newsletter "editor" for my mom's group. It starts in July and it made me think ..."oh sh*t, I've got to get a newsletter together before the end of this month. What the hell am I going to write about?".

So I started thinking really hard (and this may be why I have a headache now) and I thought...why don't I ask my blogging community? I'm asking you dear readers if you have any blog posts that I can put into my Mom's Group newsletter. It has to be a post that is relevant to moms and I have to approve its appropriateness. In exchange, I'll give you complete credit for the article in the newsletter and list your blog address (maybe you'll get some new readership).

Thanks bloggers

How Many Women With Degrees...

Yesterday, I had some friends over for an evening playdate. I bought some hamburgers and hot dogs to grill on the Barbecue. It then begged the question...how many women with degrees does it take to figure out how to barbecue? The answer? None. All three of us couldn't figure it out. It took my husband coming home to get it going. Sorry to the ladies that read my blog. We were a disgrace yesterday for not being able to figure it out.

I guess I never realized how much BBQing became a duty only for men. I don't often see women working the grill. In fact, I don't think I ever have. Not even on TV.

Then I kinda got to thinking, what other tasks have become "gender oriented"? These are some of the ones in my household:

• Road Trip Driving: My husband complains that my driving makes him nauseous. I think it's just because he's not driving. Plus, I like to sleep on drives.
• Laundry: I'm basically the only one that does it because my husband is pretty inept when it comes to washing the laundry. If he did it, stains would stay on clothes and they wouldn't get separated properly.
• Cleaning the Kitchen: I don't know why, but men really don't do a very good job of cleaning the kitchen.
• Mowing the Lawn (get your filthy mind out of the gutter): The breadwinner does this for now. But we may have to hire a gardner. My husband has developed an allergy to garden work that not even Clariten can fix.
• Nursing the baby: For obvious reasons.
• Making Pancakes: I've told The Princess that I don't know how to make pancakes. That way, I can avoid the sticky mess when I'm by myself. Plus, I don't really think pancakes are all that healthy. Especially when the Princess douses it with tons of syrup and butter. Of course, the Breadwinner has told the Princess that mommy knows how and that I'm just lazy. Now, the Princess goes around telling me that I'm lazy. Thanks hubby!
• Fixing things: Daddy is best at this one.

Are there gender based tasks in your household too?

BTW? Yes Goldy, I did say Penis Ring of this variety.

I've Noticed Some Things

So, I've noticed a couple things about my blog. First and foremost, I've been noticing that people have been searching for the EXACT search terms that I've mentioned in my Super Silly Search Sunday. For instance, I told people that people have found my blog with "bookworm hotties" and "ball sack stretching". Yesterday people found my blog using the exact terms! It's almost like people don't believe me and they're googling the terms just to see if I pop up...and obviously I do. People also searched "ball sacks" and "saggy balls cure" yesterday too. Hmmm. Yes, people, I told the truth about those search terms.

It's interesting that those terms bring people to my blog. But I'd like them to find me with better search terms. So, here come the gratuitous words that I'd like to be found with...

• Best mom ever
• My playgroup rocks
• Hot Mommy
• Cherann's the best thing around since sliced bread
• Brunettes have more fun
• Did I already say best mom ever?

Now, the other thing I noticed are the foreign language comments. I've been noticing it on other people's blogs too. What's the deal with that? Are they cussing me out or something? Am I too ball sacky for them or what? Anyway, that's all I have to say about that.

Ta Ta for now. (TTFN)

Where in The World is Cherann?

I know, I know, I've gone misto in the Blogger world. What have I been doing? Nothing much, just carting my kids around to school, play dates, kid classes and the like. But here I am again only to complete a meme. Sorry...I didn't do Super Silly Sunday. I came up with something, but didn't have time to search it. So maybe I'll save it for next week.

Anywhoo, Janet at Dancing Through tagged me for this one!

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Bun in the Oven

2. You da Mom

3. Worker Mommy

4. Janet @Dancing Through

5. Confessions of a Former Bookworm

Next, select five people to tag... cuz I'm lazy (I don't want to look back and see who hasn't done this meme yet) and I don't want to nag anyone, if you want to be tagged, feel free to do this meme.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was living in Houston, Texas dating a man that was 10 years my senior and a VP of the company I was working for. I was training to be a recruiter. Yes...one of my many different jobs.

What were you doing 1 year ago?

Waiting to give birth to my sweet baby boy. He's almost one!!!

Five snacks you enjoy:

1) Classic BBQ Kettle Potato Chips

2) Strawberries

3) Candy

4) Pretzels

5) Toffee covered Peanuts

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:

1) Somebody by Depeche Mode

2) Fruit Salad by the Wiggles

3 The body electric by ??

4) I'm a drunken Alpha Phi by ???

5) Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1) Pay off all the bills

2) Get a new car

3) Get my house professionally decorated

4) Invest it

5) Travel

Five bad habits:

1) Binge Eating

2) Impatience

3) Grinding/Clenching my teeth

4) Being critical of people

5) Picking

Five things you like doing:

1) Reading

2) Being with my family

3) Blogging

4) Playing Fantasy Football

5) Watching TV

Five things you would never wear again:

1) Bikini

2) Bangs

3) Anything that exposes my midriff

4) Paisley

5) Baby clothes

Five favorite toys:

1) My iPod

2) Nintendo

3) My Computer

4) Penis ring

5) Tivo

Sorry to those that read this without formatting. How lame am I? I also completely forgot to put in my own answers for the millionaire question.