Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Proverbial Question

As a stay at home mom, the one question that bugs the crap out of me is...

What do you do all day?

My answer? The same thing that everyone else does...I work. I do the job that I would have had to pay a Nanny 10-15 dollars an hour for. And of course, just like all other working stiffs that work for pay...I get my internet time in during the job (so don't question my blogging!).

You want to know the biggest difference between my job and the traditional job? It's that I give up my life for these kids. As all my friends without kids (or that work) move on to bigger, better and higher paying jobs, I get stuck in a job where there is little appreciation, no monetary pay, no promotions, minimal adult conversation, and maximum whining. People also seem to think that when the kids become independent and go to school...we can just go right back into the work force. We CAN'T! It's almost like we have to start over again...things change in the work force, we have to explain our employment gaps, we need to polish our skills. The worst part about it is...we NO LONGER fit into the work clothing we kept from before we became SAHMs.

And of course, nobody seems to sympathize with me (queue the violins)...least of all the Breadwinner. I think maybe the only other people that empathize with my plight are other stay at home moms...I guess that's why I joined my mom's group and started blogging. It makes me feel better to know that other people are going through the same thing...


Butrfly4404 said...

I would be so seething mad if someone asked me that. Of course, people DO ask me that about my job, but whatever.

Being a mom is a thankless job, no matter which way you look at it. Granted, we don't always FEEL like it's a tough gig, but it always is. I can't imagine what that feeling would be magnified if I devoted every second of my day to caring for them.

I don't have any advice or real condolences, but I'm here. Listening. :)

Florinda said...

I don't think I could have been a SAHM - it wasn't ever an option financially, for one thing, but also I know I would have been frustrated no end by the very things you mentioned. But as for "what you do all day" - SAHMs are some of the busiest people I know.

But please don't think working moms can't understand how you feel - and some at-home moms very well may not get it. It's a crazy juggle for most of us, even if we're not juggling exactly the same thing.

Hang in there. Sorry you have to miss book club this week!

super des said...

That sounds exactly like my old job. Maybe that's why I left it. (Not a good sign for when I have kids.)

Anonymous said...

Ahmen sistah!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

This is the second post today that I feel like clapping for the author!


Seriously, the next person who asks me what I do all day is getting a swift kick in the hiney.

Feener said...

oprah (who i don't like) always says it is the hardest job ever. i think the point is, as hard as it is, it is what i prefer to do. the thought of trying to split myslef btw outside job and home, i think that would be harder, i really admire working moms.

Worker Mommy said...

I agree that being a sahm is absolutely a challenge .

As a working mom I experience different unique challenges. I won't go into that here but lets just say it's a challenge being a mom in general whether you work in home or out of home.
All the best to you as I know it can truly be a challenge but on the other side of that definitely be glad you can stay at home.

exskindiver said...

hi cherann,
i hear you loud and clear.
i have no intention of rivaling your violins playing in the background but i felt the need to share with you a post i did on the exact subject.
when you have time,
here it is:

again, you are not alone.

Jackie said...

Know exactly how you feel! Could not agree with you more!

shauna loves chocolate said...


Jerseygirl89 said...

Oh yeah, I HATE that one. I'm going to start answering, "smoke crack".

Life As I Know It said...

Amen, amen!
I've been a working mom and a stay at home mom. Staying at home has been the hardest job I've ever had, and noone understands that except for other stay at home moms!

I hear ya'!