Today Is the Day

Today is my birthday! I'm the big 3-2. I feel older, fatter, and less pretty than I was 10 years ago. But hey, most people do too.

This past weekend, we went to the USC vs Washington State game. We went with some friends, so of course we pre-partied and tailgated. We were stoked...we had a babysitter watching all four kids, the breadwinner was the designated driver, and each couple had a pair of tickets on the 50 yard line (we were on the shady side they were on the sunny side).

I made some super strong Vodka/cranberries, so we were pretty liquored up. We also didn't have very much to eat before we went to the game.

About 15 minutes into the game, we get a call from our friends. My friend puked in front of her chair and people were starting to smell the vomit. We told them to come over to our side since there were a couple empty seats.

They came over and sat for about 10 minutes but then they left. So when I had to go to the bathroom, I went to look for them. My friend was in the bathroom sitting on the pot with puke on the floor. She also picked the one stall that didn't have a lock on it so every few minutes someone would try to open the door and whack her in the head. So, I had to stand guard in front of her door while she sat passed out on the pot after taking a humongous shit.

Needless to say, we left at half time. All she cared about though was how she ruined her husbands one chance to watch an SC game. Not a single apology for ruining the night out for me and my husband. Typical.

And if for some reason, she remembers the address for my blog and she reads this...you told me I couldn't tell certain people. You didn't say I couldn't write about it. No one you know reads this...unless you gave them the address.

The Ineffectual Parent

Yesterday, we arrived early at the Princess' preschool. We got out and waited on the steps with a couple of the other girls in her class. The Princess and the other girls started playing on the steps. Running up and down the steps, they giggled.

As the minutes ticked by, more kids arrived. It got to be too crowded for the girls to run up and down the steps.

The mother that was watching the other two girls told them to stop and they stopped immediately.

I told the Princess to stop too.

Of course, she kept on running up and down the steps anyway. I said, "That's one" after she went running up the steps. I said, "That's two", after she went running down the steps. I said, "Do you want to leave and go home?". She said no (so, I knew she could hear me).

Then, the little boy standing nearby honestly and bluntly said to his mom, "That girl isn't listening to her mommy."

Leave it to a child to say what the other moms probably were thinking. And how true it was. She went running up the steps one more time and gates opened, so I didn't get to follow through with my threat.

That's the story of my life these days. "She doesn't listen to her mommy." I've asked her countless times to stop jumping on the couch. I've asked her countless times to stop stepping on her toys. I've asked countless times for her to stop pulling her brother along by a limb. She just doesn't listen.

That's me in a nutshell...the ineffectual parent.

Eye Candy for Wordless Wednesday

(all photos were googled)

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I just posted my summer reading reviews here, if you're interested. :-)

Lessons Learned

Here are a few lessons I learned in the past few weeks:

• Always remember how much you love football season during the fall before planning anything.
• Never let your potty trained child con you into letting her drink an entire glass of water before bed time (unless of course you like waking up in the middle of the night to change soiled bed sheets.
• Never suggest an Adult Toy party as your next fundraiser for your mom's group unless you want them to look at you like you're some sex fiend. (God forbid if I spice things up a bit right?)
• Never volunteer to do the mom's group newsletter. It's a lot of work with little appreciation. There's also that one person that's late for a deadline and then complains that there are things missing from the newsletter. Uh yeah...if you don't make the deadline, it doesn't make it in. These deadlines are for a reason...I have a life and I've got better things to do than sit around waiting for people to actually read the emails about deadlines.
• If you're lactose intolerant...that smoothie drink will catch up with you eventually.
• Make sure to warn the public if you've had a smoothie.
• I need to get a prescription for xanax if I'm going to deal with the morons that call themselves "Customer Support" at Direct TV and AT and T.

Preschooler Sleep Problems -- SOLVED

Since April 2006, the Princess has had trouble going to sleep. It's a dreaded chore for both the breadwinner and me. We hate it. She always wants us to sleep with her and once we leave, she always comes out (even if we sleep with her until she falls asleep). It's so hard to put her to sleep that she often doesn't even get to bed until 10pm...sometimes even later! What's compounded the problem is that with the exception of once or twice a week...she's given up her naps.

For over a year, we've been miserable with the whole situation. But we may have found a solution...we borrowed our niece, Cousin Princess (CP). That was all it took! I went in there once to tell them to go to sleep and when I checked on them ten minutes later...THEY WERE ASLEEP! So there you have it people, the best way to solve your preschooler's problems...borrow a cousin. CP stayed with us for two glorious nights.

Last night, I had to sleep with her for a few minutes, but she didn't come out. The downside was that she kept saying "I miss my CP. My CP is at Lola's house and I want my CP to come back" (Lola is tagalog for Grandmother and I dropped her off there so my sister could pick her up).

I'll let you know if the Princess regresses. If she does, we may have to borrow CP and her magical powers again.

This is my 100th post!!!